


Do you even, like, go here?

by MrUndisclosed



Category: Monster Prom (Video Game)
Genre: Four monsters confront a monster slayer, things go better than expected
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 19:35:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14479692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrUndisclosed/pseuds/MrUndisclosed
Summary: The four player characters ask The Slayer an important question about her being here.





	Do you even, like, go here?

The Slayer stalks the debauched halls of Spooky High, darting between shadows...of which there was a lot. The Spooky High School really had a problem with broken bulbs. She leaps to the top of the towering lockers, truly massive things that seemed to contain everything these monsters ever needed to elude her. She saw the horrid gheist being pull an entire DJ booth out of hers once...it was lit...but monstrously lit, so it was terrible. 

The Slayer crawls out of sight in order to bette-

“Hey.” Brian yells at The Slayer tossing an apple at her. “We wanna talk to you.” The Slayer wheels around to see a towering zombie hulk,a corpse abomination, a burning enchantress and...some...kinda...soft boi. 

“PREPARE TO DIE MONSTARDS!” The Slayer yells as Brian hits her with another apple. “Fucking, why?”

“Shut up.” Brian tells her holding up another apple. “We don’t wanna fight you or nothing but we’ve got a lot of produce.” Brian holds up an apple, Vicky has a grapefruit, Oz has a carrot and Amira has a gun.

“...I have a gun. I thought it was Monday Gunday.” Amira shrugs. “We just wanna ask you some questions.” She gestures for The Slayer to get down and they do. The cogs turn in The Slayers mind, cornered by some well armed- or at least nutritionally armed- monsters and they want information. How could she turn this around!?

“What is it you want?” The Slayer asks as the four look at her.

“Do you like,” Oz shrugs, “go here?” They ask and The Slayer looks at them, each of them in turn.

“What?” The Slayer looks around. “The school?”

“No the fucking morgue.” Amira rattles back. “Yes the school!”

“We see you here all the time, sometimes you eat lunch when not trying to kill our dates. You show up at functions and I think you’re on the badminton team.” Vicky counts off on her fingers. “Like do you go here or are you a creepy murderer?” 

“She can be two things.” Brian states matter of fact.

“What a moronic question! A stupid statement fit only to come from the slavering maw of a monster.” The Slayer cries, puffing up her chest and folding her arms over her chest. “Of course I fucking go here.”

“The fuck.” Amira says pulling three monster dollars from her pocket and handing them to Vicky. “What do you mean you go here?”

“God you monsters are dumb.” The Slayer responds and Amira points her gun at her, Oz pushes the barrel back down. “Of course I go to this school,” she holds up a student I.D. covered in goo and blood, “here is my student I.D.”

Oz rubs at it until they see Blobert’s face. “This...this isn’t you…” Oz states slowly. The Slayer turns it around, eyes wide.

“What the fuck is a Blobert?” She asks then nods. “Oh yeah I killed this guy yesterday.” She says and the PC 4 Gasp as one. NOT BLOBERT! Their closest ally and friend and sometimes date- whom half of them haven’t unlocked yet but love universally, cause he’s such a pal!

At that moment Blobert shambles past, waving one goopy appendage. “Hey guys! I got destroyed yesterday, have you seen my I.D. I can’t get lunch without it.” He holds up a little card with The Slayer on it. “I got this I.D. for a-”

A crossbow bolt stabs into Blobert’s not very detailed face stopping him mid sentence. “THATS MINE!” The Slayer roars, face crimson red...with rage? She rushes over and takes her card back, shoving her fist into Blobert to dump his I.D. back into his form. Blobert, kind soul he is, says thanks and jiggles away.

“This just raises more questions.” Brian scratches at his chin, peeling away a layer of flesh and exposing white chipped bone. “So...why the fuck?” He asks with all the eloquence of a confused teen hungry for knowledge. 

The Slayer grins, big early whites on show. “You foolish fools. It’s obvious when you think about it for more than a second. I mean do you guys think of anything but getting laid and getting paid.”

“Nothin else to life, son.” Vicky replies, holding up her hand for Brian to high five it. He does it with such force it rips it off. “Son of a bitch, Brian.”

“Zombie strength.” He shrugs.

“I come here because my elective got shit canned.” The Slayer explains. “Slayer High ran out of funding in the Monstrology studies and this place teaches that stuff as basic biology.” She shrugs. “So you know I gotta do a year here so I can transfer into Second Year Advanced Monster Murder in Slayers U.”

“That….makes so much sense.” Oz rubs at their head. “You’re here because of the horrible state of our educational systems funding.”

“Truly the real monsters.” Vicky replies stitching her arm on.

“No you are.” The Slayer points at them. “All of you fuckers are the real monsters. Literal real monsters.” The group considers this a valid point and nods. “So there you go, I’m here until I can transfer to Uni.”

“How do you stay here?” Amira snaps. “All you do is try to kill us. Surely Principle Giant Spider should expel your stumpy ass.”

“I mean...she’s never actually managed it.” Oz supplies. “I mean she’s a pain but she’s pretty easy to beat.” He states and Slayer swings at him with a wicke blade. Sadly she is very short and so he holds her at bay with one hand. “See.”

“BLAST YOUR DARK MAGICKS!” The Slayer roars slicing at empty air. “This is why I came here to study your awful, putrid bodies and their horrid magical blasphemies.” 

“Shit man.” Oz rattles. “That’s my fucking self esteem you just eviscerated.” They look down at their feet, shadow pals giving them reassuring face paps. The Slayer simply cackles, delight oozing from her at this critical hit on monster self esteem.

“You ain’t gross man.” Brian tells Oz slapping Slayer so hard she flies down the corridor and straight through the wall into the library. “You don’t gotta take shit from...Oh man I didn’t mean to do that.”

And so the four player characters left The Slayer to tend to her own injuries because it was week 2 and that's when all the event flags seem to go off, they had crushes to crush on and The Slayer would get back up eventually. She always did….she had class in ten.


End file.
